AUTHOR=Chen Hua 

TITLE=“Anxiety or enjoyment, I feel pleasant to welcome them both”: thematic analysis of a Chinese PhD student’s personal growth experiences

JOURNAL=Frontiers in Psychology

VOLUME=Volume 14 - 2023

YEAR=2023

URL=https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1173734

DOI=10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1173734

ISSN=1664-1078

ABSTRACT=Engaging with research is an emotionally demanding experience and a trajectory full of difficulties, challenges, and stress. This autoethnographic study explored my personal experiences as a PhD student in a four-year program and conducted a qualitative thematic analysis by analyzing 550 research diary entries collected between September 2018 and June 2022, in which supervisor feedback and reviewer comments were part of the content. Three recurring, unique, and salient themes pertaining to my personal experiences were identified: being fraught with anxiety, gaining a sense of enjoyment, and achieving personal growth. Whereas anxiety was from publication and dissertation writing, foreign language writing, and individual stressors, enjoyment was gained from the support network and conducting research. My personal growth was reflected from sustained engagement and improved autonomy. In the process, I experienced some negative emotions, but found more enjoyment. The findings indicate that anxiety and enjoyment are fluctuating, cooccurring. The findings call for more attention to the role of research diary writing in scaffolding PhD research, providing emotional support, and facilitating personal growth and well-being of PhD students. 1 This is a provisional file, not the final typeset article Although current research has primarily focused on the importance of emotion for PhD students, little is known about what experiences, particularly emotional experiences PhD students might have during the entire PhD studies, and how they face up with the challenges to enhance their well-being in Chinese context. Studies have shown that emotion plays an important role in the doctoral experiences (Cotterall, 2013), and stress harms students' health (Russell-Pinson and Harris, 2019).PhD students' research and emotional experiences have been investigated in some countries, such as